In my honest opinion, humor, like bullets have no face. They can cause harm to anyone and noone is exempt from their paths. More important that the bullet or the joke being harmful, is the person delivering the blow and its purpose for doing so. Fuck the feelings, if a joke is funny..its funny [end of story]. People have been mistaking my jokes for insults lately but their intentions are not to offend.
..learn to laugh at whats funny...even if its about yourself.
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A woman successfully gives birth after several hours of labor. The doctor takes the baby and leaves the room to perform some tests. Several minutes later, the doctor returns with the baby in his arms and then suddenly begins to punch it, kick it, throw it about the room and slam it against an adjacent wall. The woman screams, "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY?!" To which the doctor replies, "April Fool's! It was already dead!"
Hitler visits a concentration camp.
They line up the hostages for him and he goes up to a young boy and greets him in a kind fatherly voice:
"Hello sonny! How old are you?"
"I'll be eleven!"
"Really? I wouldn't be so sure.."
I was out for a hike one day when I found a young boy at the top of a cliff, all alone and crying.
"Hey kid, why are you crying?" I asked.
"Mister, my mommy's all the way down there at the bottom of the cliff! sniff"
"Oh no..."
sniff "She fell! And my daddy tried to catch her and he fell too!"
I put a hand on his little shoulder. We had a quiet moment there, the two of us, alone, at the top of the cliff.
Then the little boy said, "Mister, why are you unbuckling your belt?"
"Sorry kid. Today's just not your day."
Three women who work in the same office notice that their female boss has started leaving work early every day, so one day they decide that after she leaves, they'll take off early, too. After all, she never calls or comes back, so how is she to know? The brunette is thrilled to get home early. She does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early. The redhead is elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the health club before meeting a dinner date. The blonde is also very happy to be home early, but as she goes upstairs she hears noises coming from her bedroom. She quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS! Ever so gently, she closes the door and creeps out of her house. The next day the brunette and redhead talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the blonde if she wants to leave early also, she exclaims, "NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!"
what time does michael jackson go to sleep?
...when the big hand touches the little hand
A Romanian, a Jew and a Somali sit under a tree. A caterpillar gets on the Romanian's shoulder. The Romanian throws the caterpillar at the Jew, the Jew throws the caterpillar at the Somali, the Somali picks up the caterpillar and eats it. Another caterpillar gets on the Romanian, the Romanian throws it at the Jew, the Jew picks it up and ask the Somali: "Do you want to buy a caterpillar?"
- There is 5 niggers in a Cadilac. They drive off the Grand Cannon. What is sad about this story?
- A Cadilac seats 6 niggers.
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That last joke kinda stings but once you pull yourself away from it, its still creative.
Good Bye for today
